


Shhh, I know

by Cruel_Irony



Series: Tumblr Promts [8]
Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Angst, Caring boyfriends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mac Nightingale's A+ Parenting, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 00:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17971364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cruel_Irony/pseuds/Cruel_Irony
Summary: For Tumblr prompt, No. 13 (and 60) "Ssh, I know" (Let it all out, babe, let it all out).James has a nightmare about Mac, luckily his boyfriend is there to take care of him.





	Shhh, I know

James bolts upright in a cold sweat, blinking away the last traces of his nightmare. He’s breathing as if he just ran a marathon, and his sheets are soaked. Hands shaking, he reaches for the glass of water on the bedside. He can still feel it, the terror gripping his heart, and he can picture it so easily that it scares him even more. Though he knows that the nightmare was merely a figment of his imagination, he could have sworn it happened.

James glances to his side, where Harry is curled up underneath the duvet, but is slowly groaning into consciousness. Any hope James had of going back to sleep and not disturbing his boyfriend’s sleep after the busy, and quite frankly pleasurable, evening they had, vanishes. Harry blinks awake, his foggy mind clearing when he sees James’ expression.

“James? What’s wrong?” Harry sits up, a hesitant hand reaching for James’. This isn’t the first nightmare, so he knows that touch may not be welcome. But this is the first time James thinks he might let Harry comfort him.

Before, when all they had was an illicit affair, he never wanted Harry to be with him out of guilt or pity, even if that might have been the only way to keep him. Back then, James would tell Harry that everything was okay, that it was a childish nightmare that could never be real, he would shrug away comfort, roll over and pretend to go back to sleep. He knew that Harry would console him, soothe his fears and cuddle with him, and he juts had to ask. But that would only make it hurt more when Harry left in the morning.

This time, though, Harry is here to stay. So he looks into Harry’s eyes, tears threatening to overflow, and take his hand tightly. If his grip hurts, Harry doesn’t show it. He doesn’t tear his eyes away, James is all that matters in this moment; James’ heart blushes at the thought.

“It was Mac.” James’ voice is thick with tears. And what if talking about it makes it happen? But that’s foolish, he knows. It was just a very, very terrifying nightmare. “It was like every other nightmare. I was just a child - I wasn’t even in secondary school yet - and I had done something he didn’t like. Spoken out of turn, been an effeminate mummy’s boy, taken my anger out on Ellie and Nathan, done badly at school - there are countless things I could have done, but it all leads to the same thing. He beat me, berated me, belittled me, locked me in my room.”

Harry puts his arm around James, pulling him in close so his head rests over Harry’s heart. The steady beat is calming, James takes a few breathes and continues.

“But then it changed, I was grown-up and he… he had you and Romeo and… he tried to make me choose, he threatened to hurt you, kill you. I couldn’t… I couldn’t make the choice… it was just too real, and I—. I woke up.” James sobs loudly, tears streaming down his cheeks. He can’t get enough air but he can’t stop crying. He thinks he must look pathetic, that Harry must surely be disgusted, if not by the sight of him breaking down then at least by the tears and snot being poured out to his bare chest.

But Harry begins to shush and rock him, stroking the back of his head and whispering reassurances. “Ssh, I know. It’s okay. Let it all out.”

After a while, James sniffs and tries to put some distance between them, not that Harry allows much, they never break skin contact. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have broken down like that.”

“No, James. It’s okay, I promise. Everyone gets scared, and everyone cries. Nightmares are normal. And don’t you dare apologise for snotting all over me, because God knows I’ve done it to you. What kind fo boyfriend would I be if I didn’t look after you the way you’ve always looked after me? You deserve everything in the world, James. You deserved a better father, and I’m sorry that you ended up with a man like Mac, but I swear, nothing like your dream will ever happen. I won’t let it. Neither will Romeo, or Marnie.

“But I didn’t choose.” James laments, more tears slipping down his face. He tries once more to pull away, to roll over and wallow in his self-pity, but Harry is stronger than him, and he takes James’ face in his hands.

“I’m glad you didn’t. And you will never have to. I promise.” Harry plants a kiss on James’ lips. “Now… go curl up on the sofa with a blanket and pick a film, I’ll put these sheets in the wash and make us a midnight snack. How does that sound?”

James smiles. How did he ever get so lucky? “That sounds perfect.”


End file.
